This video was made to share the day in the life of living with Anxiety and later depression. The video captured two very important messages,

 

My story

 

In 1991, I opened my own business, life seemed very exciting and inspiring, however the pressure looming of finance and failure freaked me out, the FEAR (False Experience Appearing Real) became a constant feeling, January 3rd 1991, I was rushed to hospital which at the time mirrored a heart attack, later only to learn is was a panic attack brought on by my anxiety! Days, week’s months into years of Psychiatry and 4 different medications to band-aid my symptoms, it took me through horrible thoughts and feelings I had towards myself, those feelings are shown in the footage. The MIRROR was my worst enemy; it was the first thing I saw in the morning and last thing at night. It became very real when I asked myself “ Is this my life? Living with pills? Why me? “ Towards the end I new there had to be a better way, I started working out, riding hiking and losing my weight and started to feel so much better, I went to my local subway one day and whilst in line I picked up local paper only to learn of my psychiatrist's passing and left me at a place of panic, I called his office only to confirm this was true. Time passed and slowly came off my medication (under professional guidance) and started to feel so much better!

 

So the video captures:

 

THE MIRROR - the horrific feelings I had towards myself to a point of hate! Very self harming and scary,

 

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY - in this case at present my cycling, I found myself falling back into a pattern that scared me, I knew I had to change my lifestyle to avoid the reoccurrence of my demons!

 

DARKNESS into LIGHT (sense of getting better)

 

MOTIVATION THOUGHTS along my journey (my friends)

 

THE LIGHT – to share with all, you're NEVER ALONE.

 

Today I owe it to my cycling to mentally be able to be The SON, The HUSBAND the BROTHER and the FATHER I needed to be. I have had some pretty horrible experiences over the last few years and as of recent my mother Marie, whom I have had to be her voice through 8 operations and much support through the medical Team at Lions Gate Hospital. I have had to say goodbye to her 8 times, as each operation became more and more unlikely of survival, each day went by she fought her biggest battle, mentally so did I, on April 8th 2018, I set out riding, my mother has been my fuel, I have ridden through every weather and terrain in this 365 days. I realized by day 220 that I had a different purpose, wasn’t about me, or my mums fight, I was helping others, inspiring people with all my daily posts and pictures and quotes on social media, many friends supported me through this and I give great gratitude! One person in particular last year I helped his name is Bill Paine, through TIME, TRUST and TALK I made the difference, the catalyst to my journey and to this video TIME

 

Thank you all

Karl Robathan

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